Ten Reasons to Read: Losing Control by JJ Arias

I am passionate about romance novels, especially sapphic romance novels. I think of myself, maybe first and foremost, as a romance evangelist. Romance is a genre that gets very little credit for the incredible work it does in representation, in theme, in craft, and in exploring and centering the stories of women. Good romance, the best of romance, is innately feminist. And good sapphic romance, along with being innately feminist, is deeply antihomophobic. I have been thinking about this a lot lately because recently I read a romance novel that so wholly reminded me of why I love romance, and why it matters so much, that when I finished the book I felt both shaken to my core and lifted to new heights. Losing Control, JJ Arias’ latest offering and the start to her incredibly exciting Dominion series, is an exceptional sapphic romance novel. It is the kind of romance novel that will remind you both of why you love romance novels and how powerful a force for good they can be in this world. I really think you should read it. Let me give you ten reasons why.

1. I am on record as thinking that Arias is a powerhouse sapphic romance author, one of the GOATS, and even I was blown away by how perfectly this novel was constructed. Arias is a master of conflict, of creating and holding tension, and it is a joy to experience a master at work. Seriously, this novel is a master class of structure, of using tension as a tool of pacing. It reads like a dream (sometimes a wet dream) and I promise it will be one of those books where you forget you are turning pages you are so lost in the story.

2. I can’t think of anybody in the game who writes forbidden fruit as a trope better than Arias, and the specific black cat/golden retriever dynamic between Roxxxy and Adriana made that forbidden fruit all the sweeter. From the first interaction the chemistry between these two characters is combustible - and fun. They are so fun to experience, and have an equal power dynamic from the start, and that is sometimes hard to find in client/agent romance novels. Romance underestimates power of fun sometimes, and I thank all the goddesses Arias doesn’t - especially not in Losing Control.

3. As I read Losing Control I kept thinking about this quote by W.E.B. Du Bois, “It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others.” Du Bois is talking about being a black person in America, but I think the same principle applies to queerness as well. And Arias does an incredibly beautiful job of exploring the “double-consciousness” of queerness in this novel. The simple truth is that very often as queer people we intentionally view ourselves through the eyes of heteronormativity and adjust our behavior in order to, well, assimilate into heterosexuality. Often this means very intentionally taking the sex out of our sexuality as a concession to the comfortability of the dominant culture. As Arias has her characters grapple with the double-consciousness of queerness in the novel, it is deeply cathartic and lends language to something that I don’t think we talk about enough - the way we change ourselves in order to be acceptable to our culture and why we shouldn’t have to do it. This novel does an incredible job of reminding us of the simple truth that it is homophobic and assimilationist to assume heteronormativity as normal and behave in such a way as to strive to be acceptable to what is normal or seen as more normal. In the same way we need to strive to be antiracist, we should strive to be antihomophobic, which means not just believing, but behaving in such a way as to assume all sexualities are equal and none need developing or reframing in order to be acceptable.

4. Never have I read a novel that was intentionally written as a slow burn that was so fucking hot. This novel is incendiary. It is beautiful and powerful and scorching hot. All the way through - fucking hot. It is a marvel - so read this book and marvel at it.

5. This novel is full to bursting with aspirational queer joy. It is fun to live in a world populated by powerful queer women who are incredibly successful, not despite their queerness, but because of it. It is fun to live in a world where queer people are happy and accepted and loved for all of who they are, not despite it. Over and over and over again I felt myself being like, “Fuck yes! Lets do everything we can to make this what the world looks like!” The world of this book made me want a better world.

6. It IS a “truth universally acknowledged, that baseball players are often douchebags” and I, for one, am really glad we are finally talking about it. It holds true for softball players too and we just need to be honest with ourselves. It is past time.

7. Arias loves to write an unexpected heroine. She loves to play with your character expectations, to make you zig when you think you are going to zag. Roxxxy is one of the most unexpected heroines I have ever read in the best possible way. I don’t want to say too much and ruin it for anyone, so I will just leave you with the quote by (surprising no one) Mary Oliver, “If she lives her life with all her strength is she not wonderful and wise?”

8. This novel has one of the most beautiful descriptions of being in love I have ever read. It captures the way it feels and the way it is impossible to really describe how it feels  because the feeling transcends language. I’m going to share it here because it spoils nothing and I just need you to read it right now and then go read it in context and be as awed and feel as seen as I did. “It was a sensation of complete belonging. Of Home. But it transcended those concepts. It was a rightness… never imagined possible. Maybe the Romans had developed a term for it, but it had been gobbled up by time. They had a pithy little phrase for everything”

9. This book is very funny and very charming and very kind in a way I wish more books were. That’s it. That’s the reason and trust me it’s a good one.

10. I recently learned about the Japanese term “shu ha ri” which describes the three phases of learning from being a beginner to mastery. It’s a concept used in martials arts and also weirdly in tea ceremonies which I think is very lovely. In “shu” you are learning the fundamentals, traditional techniques, and norms. In “ha” you start to challenge, and even bend, the rules, start exploring style and innovative techniques. You are finding yourself and your voice in the context of the craft. And in “ri” you finally are ready to go your own way, with all the learning behind you, you know yourself. It is safe to let your heart - the heart of a master - take control and guide you on your path. It is a joy to read a writer who is writing from their deep heart place - who knows what they are trying to say and understands how to best convey the message. Losing Control is the work of a master. It is safe to say that with this book Arias has fully entered her “ri” period and genre is going to be made better for it. And FUCK am I excited about it.

Bonus Reason

As is becoming tradition when giving you reasons to read a JJ Arias novel, the brilliant Liz Grey fancast it and I wanted to share that fan cast because it is very hot and very perfect and the book is made better if these are the women you are picturing. Enjoy. I know I did!

You can get Losing Control on Amazon today and you absolutely should - then immediately start reading it and report back when you are done so we can TALK ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I COULDN’T SAY BECAUSE SPOILERS. 

Also, we were very lucky to have JJ Arias join us on a recent episode of Strictly Sapphic. It’s a really great episode and can give you even more reasons to check out Losing Control and the rest of JJ’s books. Seriously, get into it… then them.

Have a GREAT day and keep reading! Macon